Values based living

How many people, places, and things in your life are stealing your time and energy?

Often, we unknowingly give away these precious resources, only to be drained by them.

We all do it.

We agree to that dinner when we're exhausted, leaving even more tired.

We take on clients who pay less than we’re worth.

We support friends who never return the favor.

We stay around people we can't be ourselves with, just to avoid missing out.

We keep saying yes until our life no longer reflects the one we want.

In this blog, I'll share how I eliminate things that don't align with my values.

1. Value-Based Living

I first learned about value-based living from my friend and mental performance coach, Johnny Martin. Johnny works with combat veterans to help them transition from war to civilian life.

One of the first lessons he taught me was to define my values.

Anyone can do this exercise—just Google "values" and a list will pop up.

Start by circling the values that resonate with you. Then, narrow it down to 3-5 core values that are your “big rocks.”

My values are family, faith, freedom with time, and health.

As Johnny would say, these values are my lighthouse in the night.

When making decisions about my time and energy, I ask myself if they bring me closer to my values.

There have been many amazing opportunities I’ve turned down because I knew they would take me off my desired path.

Saying no is tough, but it’s a skill we should all practice more.

The first step is to define your values and evaluate whether people, places, and things in your life align with them.

2. Clutter

We live in a society obsessed with more:

More information.
More belongings.
More opportunities.
More status.

Every day, we’re bombarded with so much that it’s hard to distinguish what’s important from what’s just clutter.

Our minds become overloaded with options, making it difficult to focus on what truly matters.

The second step is embracing the idea that less is more.

Right now, there are things in your life that either offer no value or, at worst, steal your focus.

One example that resonated with me is from Greg McKeown's book Essentialism. He talks about how we keep clothes in our wardrobes that we never wear because we don’t want to waste money getting rid of them. Yet, they sit there, unused for years.

Think about clearing your life the same way you would your wardrobe.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and confidently trim down to only what matters most to you.

3. The Most Important Question

If you could do one thing for a living, what would it be?

If your answer is coaching human beings, then that is what matters most.

All your time and energy should be focused on becoming the best coach you can be.

During times of uncertainty, return to that answer and remind yourself that you’re on the right path.

If you could live your ideal life, what’s missing right now?

Chances are, what’s missing is something you don’t have the time or energy to pursue.

The third step is understanding that eliminating clutter will help you focus on what’s most important to you.

4. Saying No

Early in my career, I said yes to everything.

Saying yes is important for gaining exposure and putting yourself out there.

But eventually, saying yes to everything leaves you spread thin and exhausted.

That’s when learning to say no becomes crucial.

Saying no can feel uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to protect your energy and time.

Last Monday, I was supposed to head to LA to film, but realized the traffic to the gym would take over an hour.

I went back and forth, but ultimately said no because the travel time would drain my energy, which was more important than filming.

The final step is finding the courage to say no when an opportunity doesn’t align with preserving your time and energy.

Conclusion

While we can’t fully control our lives, the best way to take ownership and get in the driver’s seat is by gaining clarity on what’s important.

Our values are our North Star.

Eliminating clutter helps us see them more clearly.

Consistent reflection on our values and purpose reassures us during moments of uncertainty that we’re on the right path.

Along the way, we’ll face opportunities that either bring us closer to or further from that path.

Learning to say no is a crucial skill if we want to avoid taking wrong turns.